


Thank You

by QueenPotatos



Category: Free!
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, I needed to put my feelings on paper and that's what I literally did, M/M, catharsis writing, post ep 11 writing, row materia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-17 00:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2289797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru never thought he would have the chance to go out of Japan one day - and to Australia, of all places, the place Rin had left him for - but he certainly never expected to go there twice.</p>
<p>Life never turned up the way it’s supposed to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a fan I suggest that you read this while listening to 'Ashitaka to San' in Budokan by mister Joe Hisaishi. This is really the kind of feelings I had in mind when writing this.

 

 

 

At some point, Haru decided that he wouldn’t wait for anything good to happen to him unless it was something he had worked for - looked for - sweated for.

 

 

 

Rin had almost - kind of - definitely - kidnapped him to bring him to Australia with him. In the plane he even made sure Haru’s belt stayed locked. He told him it was only for safety, that there were always a lot of turbulence during those flights across the Pacific but somehow Haru was sure it was only because Rin was scared he would escape him, even there, even when they were flying so high in the sky, literally with their heads in the clouds.

 

As soon as Rin relaxed though, the trip became a nice one.

 

Rin had been contacted by his old team. He was thrilled about it, and he talked about it so much than it took a long time for Haru to understand what he was truly doing here. This whole trip, it wasn’t for Rin; it had never been for him because he had already made his decision, back then. It’s not for his own self either that Rin brought Haru along with him. It’s not one of Rin’s countless selfish wishes he had used them to over the year no; it was for Haru, and Haru’s sake alone.

 

Rin turned his gaze off of the round window and of the clouds running by them, obscuring and hiding the Ocean from his eyes. He looked at Haru instead. He smiled.

 

"Thank you." He murmured, and Haru couldn’t get why. The trip was silent and not devoid of small tension, but he didn’t mind.

 

Somehow this little trip to Australia had been exactly what he needed the most. Somehow he needed to take a break from everything - he desperately needed something to distract him from his previous fight with Makoto. It was supposed to be only about Rin, but Haru easily guessed the hidden purpose of Rin’s sudden boldness.

 

He only smiled back. Haru felt incredibly sorry and grateful, for everything; but it’s not like he was going to speak his mind on the matter, and it’s not like Rin needed it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Haru got back to Japan with Rin after a couple of days it’s only to feel like an entire other human being. Rin had showed him the world as he saw it every single day of his life since he had met him - the sight Haru gave him. And, as sappy as it sounded Haru had seen it too. He had seen the world through Rin’s eyes and it was the best sight he could have hoped for. He wanted to keep seeing it that way. Through Rin’s eyes, with Rin always by his side. He had found his dream in the depth of those red, flaming and passionate pair of jewels incrusted in Rin’s face.

 

Haru thought the world was restraining him. That because of it, he would never be able to be free as he used to be in the past; but Rin proved him wrong. There was in the end one and only person, binding him and forbidding him to see a world where he could swim freely, and this person was himself. His own fears had paralyzed his limbs, shut his eyes from the rest of the world, made him scared and suspicious of everyone’s good intentions towards him. He had mistaken concern for pressure and expectation; he had probably broken Makoto’s heart too by reacting so childishly, as if Makoto owed him something…how foolish he had been.

 

"Thank you." He murmured to Rin on the way back.

 

He had finally found his way of being free.

 

He would be free, and swimming with Rin; this was really something he could do from now - he would swim for his own pleasure, for him and the others, for Rin, his friends, and everyone who would look up to him, he would give them the dreams he had never been able to find on his own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Six months later, Rin was back with another couple of tickets to Sydney and Haru couldn’t quite believe it. He didn’t even know why he accepted but still here they were, sitting next to each other on another plane. This time there was no cloud to hide the beauty of the water running under their feet.

 

"Thank you," Rin said again, "It means a lot to me."

 

Haru didn’t take his eyes off of the view. The trip was silent, but this time there was no tension between them.

 

Rin’s stuff had been delivered a day before they arrived at his new place. The apartment was just near the Olympic pool, and they had a great view on the Opera from where they stood as soon as they finished packing.

 

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

 

"Yeah." Haru answered, but it’s only because Rin was there with him that he found the sight enjoyable and worth spending the evening watching.

 

He looked at Rin. He wondered what ran through his mind, what he was thinking exactly when he had asked him to come with him, here and now, of all the places. Sometimes Haru would catch him of the verve of saying something; his lips would move wordlessly, he would bite on those by nervousness for a second and then Rin would turn his head away in what, to Haru’s perspective, looked like shame.

 

 

During those days they spent together Haru progressively felt that there’s something urgent that he needed to tell Rin. He didn’t know what or why yet, but each time he looked at Rin, at the calendar and then back at Rin, the feeling grew stronger and louder.

 

It’s only the day before they had to go back to the airport that finally, Haru understood what had gone through Rin’s mind during those days. That night Haru watched Rin get into his night clothes. He only wore a pair of light pants - it’s summer in Australia after all. His bed was probably big enough for the two of them to sleep in there comfortably.

 

"Haru? Is there something wrong?"

 

Rin had never looked more beautiful. There was that sparkling of hope embellishing his eyes. Haru opened his mouth, and then when the words didn’t want to get out, he chewed on his lips before he said “Nothing; goodnight, Rin.” And walked away.

 

"Ah, Thank you." Rin said in English. "Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day. Make your to sleep well."

 

He didn’t need to be told so but still Haru slept very little that night.

 

 

 

 

Rin helped him with the packing. His hands were just as warm as his smile. It’s not merely a urge that Haru felt that particular day anymore, it’s more like a vital necessity. He needed him and Rin to talk; about something, about anything - again Haru felt lost and this time no one would be able to open up his eyes for him.

 

They reached the airport way too fast for his taste.

 

Because Rin was only there to see him off.

 

He knew that, he had known it from the start but somehow he still expected Rin to do something silly again, and to follow him back to Japan. Because at this moment Haru wasn’t enough of an idiot to do that kind of stupid and romantic as hell things, even if it concerned Rin.

 

"Great," Rin said after looking at the screen. " Your plane is on time. Remember what happened last time? We’ve wanted for, what, something like 8 hours?"

 

"Has it really been that long?"

 

"Yeah. My iPod died on me before we got into the plane."

 

Time never felt long when spent with Rin. It’s what he should say to him, instead of just thinking it.

 

"Rin…time never-"

 

"PASSENGERS FROM FLIGHT 568AZ54 FOR TOKYO-"

 

"It’s yours."

 

Rin grabbed Haru’s bag and walked with him towards the boarding lounge. He stopped before the security check. He could not follow him any further than that.

 

 

That’s it.

 

That’s how they would part.

 

It’s not forever.

 

There would be more summers to come.

 

But this would never be the same again.

 

 

There was a knock on the bottom on Haru’s throat. It’s like his whole body was filled with something that desperately needed to get out of him but he didn’t know how to make that possible. The feeling chocked him, and prevented him from speaking. And somehow, Rin’s teary eyes didn’t help him to do so. Haru hated to see him cry. Why didn’t he find the courage sooner?

 

"Haru…"

 

It’s probably their last moment, at least for a while, the last chance Haru would have to speak to Rin face to face and he couldn’t even open his mouth.

 

"Thank you so much for everything you did for me." Rin cried on his shoulder as he hugged him in the middle of the airport. He ran his hand on Haru’s back.

 

They didn’t have much time. The voice was echoing again in the lounge, announcing Haru’s departure. It was now or never. Haru didn’t find the guts to speak and to tell Rin how he truly felt.

 

"Thank you thank you Haru thank you," Rin kept sobbing, quietly now, " You’ll never know how grateful I am. You’ve changed my whole life, Haru. You changed the way I see the world."

 

"Ah, I’m glad."

 

If only Rin could speak for them both. If only Rin could read his mind and hear Haru’s inner voice, screaming in the corner of his mind the words even Rin couldn’t voice aloud

 

 

_\- I Love You Too._

 

 

They parted way too fast. It felt empty without him. And it felt even worse now that Haru could only stare, helpless, at Rin’s back leaving him for a time both unknown to them.

 

The urge to speak made him open his mouth. He chewed in his lips. Still, the words refused the get out of his heart but Haru had legs and these legs, even if slow on the ground, could certainly run and grasp on the last remaining of Haru’s dream before it’s too late.

 

His arms caught Rin’s waist from behind. The silence that followed was comfortable.

 

"Thank you." He said, softly.

 

For everything. For changing my life. For giving me a dream. For being part of that dream. For giving me a reason to go on. For caring about me that much. Thank you, for loving me and for letting me love you.

 

There was a lot of things Haru wanted to say; but it felt like here wasn’t the right time or place to confess.

 

The woman’s voice announced the departure of his flight again.

 

None of them looked back when Haru loosened his embrace.

 

It was better that way.

 

Rin would continue to pursuit his dream here in Australia, surrounded by the very best. And Haru would follow his own back in Japan out of respect for Rin, because he had been the one showing him the way and because Haru couldn’t deceive him right now, or be a burden to him.

 

 

 

The way back to Japan felt lonely. The clouds and the Ocean weren’t as pretty as before. His house felt cold and empty.

 

 

His phone vibrated. It’s a message from Rin.

 

_Don’t forget. It’s not a Farewell. It’s only a goodbye._

 

Haru smiled. _Thank you_ , he wrote. He sank on his bed and let the phone rest on his chest, on the nearest place to his heart.

 

It was only a goodbye; there would be another time to say the unspoken truth that binded them together with a long, red piece of silky thread.

 

 

 

##### The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not okay


End file.
